(I'm sorry for not posting a new entry in a little while. I was just honestly a bit upset from receiving essentially no comments. I have received a few now so far. I appreciate and thank those who have commented so far. I hope to receive more comments in the near and coming future).
Have you ever considered where many of the social issues originate from? There are, of course, many origins to these "issues", but one of the more major (or at least more influencing) factor is poor parenting.
As suggested/hinted at in my previous entry parents play a significant role in our people turn out.
The old saying about how the children are the "future" is quite true. What I believe many parents fail to realize is that their offspring are the future. A poor level of parenting significantly contributes to the child not having a clear focus on life.
Many of these individuals often end up doing illegal drugs, committing petty thievery, and all sorts of horrible things.
Some end up being addicted to, for example, World of Warcraft. Others block their minds out from the rest of the "real world" and turn themselves completely into the "virtual world".
It is true that many of us enjoy technology, such as the Internet, but the distinguishing factor here is the level of involvement.
Another issue with parents in general is something quite unfortunate. As many of you readers probably have experienced or know of someone who as, parents tend to compare their children to others. It's almost as if parents see their children as a commodity or a property and continuously compete with other parents and their kids to be "better".
What is "better"? Is it just grades, "achievements", what college the child gets accepted into, the kinds of hobbies involved, clubs...
Although these activities enrich the mind, it would seem that many parents unfortunately live by this competitive setting.
Competition is good and healthy. But there are more things to life than these things.
What a child learns, the experiences, the chance to free-think for themselves, the chance to do what he/she wants to do (as opposed to told to do), the chance to figure things out on their own (no matter how long it takes), the freedom to make mistakes and learn...
That's something that should be stressed. This hyper-competitive world that we live in today almost blinds us; a sandbox if you will. These Socio-mental barriers that prevents many children (of whom will collectively literally become the future) are being pushed away from their potential because of these demands.
Of course, when a parent is questioned about, most will say that they are good parents and let their children do this and that. But really?
There seems to be this traditional, generic life path that is set for the child. The parent may allow the child to do some things on their own, but often we see the child being criticized with the response, "See? I told you so." and then in "successes" often the child is given a "Good job!" response. But really...is that at the child or a self-reassuring mechanism?
What do you think about this? Please comment below.
Update
I found a relevant YouTube clip that displays poor parenting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dXcIZFPpow
There are a few issues here.
1. How could a parent not be able to watch over these children to the point where another child actually dies from suffocation?
2. How could a child be not competent enough to understand that burying anyone in sand and leaving that individual there for minutes can lead to suffocation and possibly death?
3. For a television show such as Naruto, how could a parent not be aware that the show may be impressionable on the child and to either moderate the child when the child is watching it or simply not allow the child to watch it?
4. What happened to the parents teaching the child the difference between "virtual reality" and "reality"?
* I am not necessarily saying that violent media (in this case Naruto, albeit intended for audiences who are a bit more competent and mature), is a definite cause to replicating the same kind of behaviors.
* The issue I am discussing is the lack of parenting, or at least some form of supervision. Younger children tend to be more impressionable from everything that they experience.
* Should it really take a death of a child for a parent to be surprised or shocked that something like this could happen? In this case, I would probably guess that this parent(s) would simply come to the conclusion that Naruto is automatically bad and it is the cause for all of such behavior.
* Often, this type of thinking process would be considered scapegoating. Yes, it is strongly suggested that what the child did does resemble much of what he must have viewed on Naruto, however for the child to actually go about and mimic what he saw is a disturbing, especially when the child should have been at least able to conceptualize (i.e. imagine) what would happen if such steps were taken as to mimic what he saw on the television.
* I would hope that after this incident that the parent discussed with the child what he did was inappropriate. I would also hope that the parents don't simply blame Naruto for this behavior as if the parents were aware or at least more involved with the child, I would assume that it is likely the child may view Naruto but probably not go as far as to taking the life of (what I assume to be) a friend.
I found a relevant YouTube clip that displays poor parenting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dXcIZFPpow
There are a few issues here.
1. How could a parent not be able to watch over these children to the point where another child actually dies from suffocation?
2. How could a child be not competent enough to understand that burying anyone in sand and leaving that individual there for minutes can lead to suffocation and possibly death?
3. For a television show such as Naruto, how could a parent not be aware that the show may be impressionable on the child and to either moderate the child when the child is watching it or simply not allow the child to watch it?
4. What happened to the parents teaching the child the difference between "virtual reality" and "reality"?
* I am not necessarily saying that violent media (in this case Naruto, albeit intended for audiences who are a bit more competent and mature), is a definite cause to replicating the same kind of behaviors.
* The issue I am discussing is the lack of parenting, or at least some form of supervision. Younger children tend to be more impressionable from everything that they experience.
* Should it really take a death of a child for a parent to be surprised or shocked that something like this could happen? In this case, I would probably guess that this parent(s) would simply come to the conclusion that Naruto is automatically bad and it is the cause for all of such behavior.
* Often, this type of thinking process would be considered scapegoating. Yes, it is strongly suggested that what the child did does resemble much of what he must have viewed on Naruto, however for the child to actually go about and mimic what he saw is a disturbing, especially when the child should have been at least able to conceptualize (i.e. imagine) what would happen if such steps were taken as to mimic what he saw on the television.
* I would hope that after this incident that the parent discussed with the child what he did was inappropriate. I would also hope that the parents don't simply blame Naruto for this behavior as if the parents were aware or at least more involved with the child, I would assume that it is likely the child may view Naruto but probably not go as far as to taking the life of (what I assume to be) a friend.
Right, you want a comment, eh?
ReplyDeleteWell, I agree that poor parenting is a problem. But, what is good parenting? On what basis do you declare that "competitive" parenting isn't good parenting?
I don't declare that competitive parenting is necessarily equal to or always means poor parenting.
ReplyDeleteMy overall impression is that sometimes, too much emphasis on 1 aspect or style of parenting is where it begins to turn out to be ugly.
In the case of the WoW entry that I made, that has a lack of parenting from what I understand. Also in that case, we never hear about the father...or if there even is one.
Going back, what I mean by competitive is how some parents tend to emphasize things like grades, being part of a certain group, etc where the child really has no say in anything, really.
Hence, why I included the "See I told you so." and "Good job." portion.
I would assume that there are many times where a parents says that the child MUST do something and the child asks why. Many parents just simply say "Because I'm your Mom (or Dad)." or "Because I said so.".
That's where I feel that parents are really forcing themselves upon their children instead of allowing the children to experience life for themselves while making mistakes and poor judgments.
It would seem that too many parents are overly concerned for their children and tend to almost develop the kid's life in their own vision, while trying to push their kid above the other kids of whom the parent associated & socializes (both the kid and its parents).
Competition by all means is welcomed as it pushes people to innovate to make themselves appear better or provide better ideas and whatnot.
The "competitive" parenting wasn't the only point that I was trying to make. I was also making references to the WoW child for a reason (as mentioned in the previous entry).
Failed parenting cases can be seen in many places. The overly "competitive" parenting is just one way that CAN (not necessarily does) lead to such.
So there is more than one way to be a bad parent. Still, what is good parenting? Some times you lean towards liberal parenting and sometimes towards strict, conservative parenting.
ReplyDeleteWatched the video, disturbing indeed. I don't think it was a lack of supervision that caused the boys death. After all, a ten year old should know that you can't breathe while buried in sand.
Naruto can't be blamed either. That's like blaming the gun industry for people getting shot to death. Guns don't kill people, people kill people.
I just can't imagine that the kids involved didn't realize that what they were doing was dangerous. Either this was a case bullying or something done on a dare. Suffocating takes a while to happen and Cody would likely have started panicking with his head in the sand. The fact that his friends still did nothing to get him out of the sand should indicate that this was no mere playground accident.
That's exactly the point about that kid and the sandbox.
ReplyDeleteBut you don't think it was a lack of superversion? Well, I think it was.
Why?
Think about it. Like you said, "After all, a ten year old should know that you can't breathe while buried in sand."
Obviously, the kid did not, this situation was a dare (like you also suggested), or it was a case of bullying (as you mentioned).
BUT!
The fact that there was a lack of parenting (actually more like supervision in this case) is disturbing in that:
a. the kid is already bullying at such a young age
b. he may have been incompetent enough to not realize that a person can die from being stuck under sand for that long
c. maybe the kid has some mental issues. if this was the case, where was the parent or an adult?
If you look at it that way, I suppose you're right.
ReplyDeleteI suppose that I am right? I may be "right" but honestly what is it to be "right"?
ReplyDeleteWe're all entitled to our own opinions. Even in the case were it seems that you "suppose" that I am righ in that sense, my opinion is only 1 view of looking at a circumstance.
Therefore, I'm not really "right". It's more that it would seem that my opinion seems to be more logical.
BUT!
That's the key here. I seem more logical. Seeing things in 1 person's way is blinding yourself to essentially the infinite number of possibilities that exist for any given situation.
=D
Anyway, I appreciate your continued support of my blog. I'm quite shocked and pleased that someone actually came here, let alone continue to post comments.
A-W-E-S-O-M-E
I would greatly appreciate if you continued your contributions and check back on my blog often. Also, please try your best to spread the word about this blog.
Thank you.